For as long as I
can remember, i always tried to play
with friends my older than me.
While I’ve learned to explore the world alone, I
still find myself grappling with the idea of being a quiet overthinker in a
society full of fast talkers and loud opinions.
Here are 10
struggles every quiet overthinker has to deal with on a day-to-day basis.
1. People always
think you’re mad at them.
There’s something
about the idea of silence that seems to make people so ridiculously
uncomfortable.
People have a
tendency to read my silence as anger or sadness, and they assume that anger is directed at
them.
I’m just
minding my own business, and to be honest, I’m probably thinking about money.
2. Or, people
think you’re upset about something.
I “jokingly” tell
people I have “resting sad face,” but like, it’s not even a joke.
It’s nice to know
people care about you and want to make sure you’re OK, but jeez, like I said,
I’m probably thinking about money!
3. You defend
yourself and your behavior way more than you’d care to.
I find myself
constantly apologizing for what are basically attributes of my natural
personality.
Last time I
checked, I’m not hurting anyone by being a generally quiet person, so why do I
need to defend myself to you?
4. You create
problems that don’t actually exist.
OK, sometimes I
hurt people by being this way. But, I promise it’s never intentional!
Being an
overthinker means you think your way into conflict. It’s like you’re a
magician, but only a really shitty one who can whip up a problem out of thin
air.
5. Overthinking
leads to mental exhaustion, which then leads to physical exhaustion.
You’re constantly
tired AF, and the bags under your eyes may as well be designer.
After a
particularly stressful day of thinking yourself into another dimension, there’s
nothing more you want to do than shut out the world and pass out on the couch.
6. You’ve killed
your own appetite by thinking too much.
fact: I’ve
gone nearly an entire day without food simply because I was thinking so much
that my stomach just couldn’t handle ingesting anything.
All overthinkers
are especially familiar with this struggle when going out for a meal with
people who make them nervous, or people who are just plain difficult to talk
to. While you get inside your own head, nothing goes inside your belly.
7. You’re terrible
at first impressions.
Unfortunately, the
quiet overthinker often has to grow on a person before they can get along
amicably.
Our reticent
demeanors turn people off at first, and we find ourselves hoping (more like
praying) for a second chance to make a good impression.
8. You find it
difficult to socialize in a loud or crowded environment.
Projecting your voice is simply not your strong suit.
For me, when I’m
out at a bar, I usually have to scream directly into the other person’s ear for
them to hear me, and then I worry (re: OVERTHINK) about them smelling my bad
breath when our faces are so close together.
I’d so much rather
sit back and people-watch than try to scream to make myself heard.
9. People always
think you’re silently judging them.
OK, I will admit,
this is sometimes true.
But, for the most
part, it’s really not the case at all.
The quiet
overthinker loves nothing more than to people-watch, but we’re almost never
thinking anything bad about those we stare at. We just like the idea of getting
lost in someone else’s world sometimes rather than trying to navigate our own.
10. Working in
groups can be super difficult.
My heart skips a
beat a little every time I have to attend a meeting with people.
It’s not that I
don’t want to converse with people and share ideas. I love what can come out of
creative collaborations.
But, the process
of getting there can be cringe worthy for us overthinkers. We’re always worried
about sounding stupid, and we usually think so much about the worst-case
scenario of any situation that we force ourselves into silence.
11. You’re a
totally different person online/over text.
In person, we
usually find ourselves associating with people who are either louder than us,
or at least talk more than we do. So, we just let those people do their thang,
and we sit back, listen and absorb.
But, behind a
keyboard, a quiet overthinker can feel like they finally have the chance to
clearly express themselves and articulate their thoughts.